Who Am I?
This week Kristin has given me amazing questions and guidance to begin to really look at who I am.
I had a bit of a struggle actually working through this lesson. I had to spend some time not only working through a few of the questions but also trying to reconcile why it was so hard for me. A friend recently sent me a daily devotional ; this mornings entry was on judging others and ourselves. Romans 8:1 "There is no condemnation for those who belong to me. " I am good at telling you about the person that I desire to be even better at exposing the person I am not. But it is time that I own the person that I am including the good parts of this person . It is time to accept the forgiveness I have been freely given and build on these strengths and gifts.
My worst day ever was November 18, 2006. My life was in a great place; new house, great job and hubby was on vacation. It was our tradition for him to take the week of Thanksgiving off to help me get the house ready and to decorate for Christmas. We were very excited because Christmas was to be the first time that all my family would be under our new roof. The list was ready and we were humming along. Jeff was working on his truck and I was grabbing a bite to eat before I left to go shopping.......Bam! My world went spinning off it's axis. Jeff comes in and tells me his chest hurts call 911........ I will spare you the many details. The original problem an aortic dissection became MANY additional complications....Yes all my children were "home" for Christmas, eating at the snack bar in the hospital, not my plan. Fast forward to one week after my 50th birthday, 62 days later, I am joyfully bringing my husband home in a wheelchair. For months the high point of my week was leaving Jeff at dialysis so that I could get things done and have a moment alone to think. I dance and sing praises that 6 months after the "event" he returned to work, no more dialysis and sans the wheelchair. For six months my life had been 100% about caring for him and keeping our household going. I lost my job and any semblance of a life that I had begun in our new hometown. Time for a TOTAL life reset. This is not how I had envisioned our lives as fledgling empty nesters!
The last few years have been full of many ups and downs, sorrows and blessings.This roller coaster ride called life has definitely shaped the woman I am. I struggle some days saying good bye to the lifestyle I knew and loved. I feel that I am finally ready to truly leave my past and race toward the incredible future that I know awaits me.
This is the first page this week in my book.
Thank you so much for taking time to journey with me.
Many blessings to you.
Brenda
This week Kristin has given me amazing questions and guidance to begin to really look at who I am.
I had a bit of a struggle actually working through this lesson. I had to spend some time not only working through a few of the questions but also trying to reconcile why it was so hard for me. A friend recently sent me a daily devotional ; this mornings entry was on judging others and ourselves. Romans 8:1 "There is no condemnation for those who belong to me. " I am good at telling you about the person that I desire to be even better at exposing the person I am not. But it is time that I own the person that I am including the good parts of this person . It is time to accept the forgiveness I have been freely given and build on these strengths and gifts.
My worst day ever was November 18, 2006. My life was in a great place; new house, great job and hubby was on vacation. It was our tradition for him to take the week of Thanksgiving off to help me get the house ready and to decorate for Christmas. We were very excited because Christmas was to be the first time that all my family would be under our new roof. The list was ready and we were humming along. Jeff was working on his truck and I was grabbing a bite to eat before I left to go shopping.......Bam! My world went spinning off it's axis. Jeff comes in and tells me his chest hurts call 911........ I will spare you the many details. The original problem an aortic dissection became MANY additional complications....Yes all my children were "home" for Christmas, eating at the snack bar in the hospital, not my plan. Fast forward to one week after my 50th birthday, 62 days later, I am joyfully bringing my husband home in a wheelchair. For months the high point of my week was leaving Jeff at dialysis so that I could get things done and have a moment alone to think. I dance and sing praises that 6 months after the "event" he returned to work, no more dialysis and sans the wheelchair. For six months my life had been 100% about caring for him and keeping our household going. I lost my job and any semblance of a life that I had begun in our new hometown. Time for a TOTAL life reset. This is not how I had envisioned our lives as fledgling empty nesters!
The last few years have been full of many ups and downs, sorrows and blessings.This roller coaster ride called life has definitely shaped the woman I am. I struggle some days saying good bye to the lifestyle I knew and loved. I feel that I am finally ready to truly leave my past and race toward the incredible future that I know awaits me.
This is the first page this week in my book.
Many blessings to you.
Brenda
Thanks so much for sharing! Your worst days is one of the things I fear most in life. I'm so glad your husband has recovered.
ReplyDeleteWonderful share! I'm so happy your husband recovered, sending prayers for continued good health!
ReplyDeleteBlessings,
So glad your hubs has recovered and is doing well. I can only imagine how traumatic and emotional the experience must have been for you! Losing my mom recently had a similar effect in my life.. everything seemed to fall apart. Now that things have settled down into a new normal, I'm finding it very difficult to figure out who I am. Your story gives me hope that I will find myself again soon. Thanks for sharing!
ReplyDeleteThank you for sharing such a very personal story and for all the beautiful inspiration,
ReplyDeleteJo xxx
Wow, thank you for sharing such a deeply personal and painful story so honestly and openly. You are a brave woman. I wish you so much success with your life reset. I'm sure you'll do great.
ReplyDelete